Today on a walk to the hardware store with my sweetheart I had a fit of excitement over my ability to properly identify an incredibly common and totally cute local bird. This new skill is thanks only to the Christmas gift I received from The Mister this year: The Illustrated Field Guide to the Birds of Australia.

It sounds dorky, but it’s what I asked for. My deepest apologies if I’ve completely blown my cool kid Williamsburg Brooklyn bartender international expat status by revealing my interest in bird watching, but there it is. I’m interested in birds. Oh, and my last name is Byrd. Go ahead and laugh, I’ll give you a minute.

Anyway, upon our arrival back home, I immediately pounced on my bird book to look up more information on the Black and White Fantail or, as he’s known on the streets, Willie Wagtail. My thoughts are that since I can now identify him by sight, I may as well take things up a notch and learn more about ole’ Willie’s way of life.

yes, I actually AM the ambassador of cute

Internet, I know it sounds like geektron2000 reading material, but this book is full of awesome stuff. A prime example is that Mr. Wagtail’s nest is “a shallow grey cup of fine grass, bark shreds and rootlets” (ROOTLETS?! That’s a real word? Eeeeee!) and get THIS: “the nest is felted with spider’s webs”
Holy cute explosion batman.

Seriously Internet, it’s felted.
What? Would YOU be ok just relaxing on a sofa made of fine grass, bark shreds and rootlets? No way man. You need some padding. Felted spider’s webs are obviously the way to go for today’s nests.

Further reading revealed that my new BFF William is also an avid and brutal hunter:
“Takes insects in twisting flight seemingly disturbing them by jerky sweeps of tail and sudden wing flaring. Large butterflies are transferred to feet for carriage to de-winging stations.”

In addition to having perfectly decorated nests, these birds also set up de-goddamn-winging stations for their massive butterfly kills. BAD ASS.

Poofy little tough guy